Why I Hate The Lakers
Beat LA! Beat LA! Beat LA!
Nothing says class like 'dating' a Doctor!
This chant has probably been heard in every NBA city when the Lakers are visiting. The question it begs however is why are the LA Lakers the only team with their own chant? The simple answer is that everyone hates the Lakers because they’ve won 16 titles. The complex answer is that there’s a large faction of sports fans that don’t really hate the Lakers as much as they do Lakers ‘fans’ and that makes it so satisfying to rub their noses in it just a little more than you would your random NBA fan. I’m included in this faction of the basketball world.
Allow me to clarify this; first off, I don’t hate Magic Johnson, Kareem, Worthy, Michael cooper, Shaq, Kobe, fisher, Big Shot Rob, Phil Jackson, Jerry Buss or even the Laker girls. I hate Laker “fans”. I’m not talking about the guy in Compton. I’m not even talking about that surfer guy in Malibu or that hard core fan in Long beach. This applies to everyone outside of Orange County.
You see, since my Mavericks eliminated the Lakers this week, I’m in a generous mood. This applies to every “fan” outside of Southern California. I’m talking about you court-side Mr. Courtside Celebrity.
Way to go out on a limb John Cena
I’m talking to you Ms. CW TV Starlet whose agent just landed her tickets on celebrity row and who texts the whole game thus disrespecting any real fan. You Laker’s fans who are “from Memphis Tennessee” but are always court-side cheering for the Lake-show. I’m talking about you Laker “fan” from (insert NBA city here).
Yes you bandwagon Laker “fan”. Let me clarify that when I call you a bandwagon fan what I mean. I don’t mean that you are a fair-weather fan. Some of you may be legitimate die hards. Your crime is this: you have the fortunate situation to have an NBA team in your town, but you took this for granted. Not every big city has this (just ask Seattle). But not only did you decide to not follow your home team, you chose the biggest, baddest boy on the block. In other words, you took the easy way out.
Being a fan is like being married – there are good times and there are bad times, for better or for worse.
Being a hometown fan is a kin to marrying your high school sweet heart. It’s your first love, you are from the same place and you are together until death do pulls you apart. While being a bandwagon fan is like being a gold digger. You could have married that good ole boy down the street who is working hard to earn a living. But no…you married rich and took the easy way out.
The working man works for every dime he gets and during a recession finds a way to survive. But for the rich man, during the recession, he goes from a billionaire to a millionaire.
Who's a douchey Lakers fan and has two thumbs?
For the Lakers, a bad year is a year when you do not win finals. A tough year is a year you barely make the playoffs. A lost year is a year you are in the lottery. Do you think the fans of Charlotte will ever feel that way? They were so happy to make it to last year’s tournament. Do you think the fans of Memphis get this? They are beside themselves to get out of the first round and are on an amazing ride this year. Do you think the fans of Dallas get this? Their lone finals appearance ended in a second place finish.
In a way, I feel sorry for you Laker “fan”. You will never understand the true joy of sports; the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat. What makes those victories so sweet is overcoming adversity. It’s being a fan of a 13 win team in 90s. It’s being a terrible expansion franchise. It’s being a franchise that you swore was cursed but then feeling the thrill of rising from this to the top. Isn’t that why people love the Rocky movies or any sports movie for that fact?
But you Laker “fan”… you only know the thrill of victory. Your family will always have money because “your” franchise has an amazing legacy, “your team” plays in a glamorous city that you’ve probably never been to and play on national TV every week. “Your team” will always find ways to win and will always find ways to the top. But who do you respect more – the loyal hometown girl who stood by her man as he went from nothing to become a millionaire and continued to support him after he made his millions or the girl with all the plastic surgery who went from a millionaire to a billionaire?
Now, the same could be said for Yankee fans or Dallas Cowboys fans.
As a hardcore fan of the Cowboys I must say, I can see why you hate us. We call ourselves “America’s Team” because, everywhere in America, someone has jumped on our bandwagon. Again, that’s their right. But the real reason you hate us is because we win – although not recently or anytime in the last 15 years (that’s a story for another day). That’s another reason why I hate you Lakers. You win. I’m jealous of you, Laker fan in Compton, Laker fan in Inglewood, Long Beach and Orange County. I’m jealous that you seem to get an annual parade. But, as for you Laker “fan” in (insert NBA city here)… I’m not jealous of you – you gold digger!
I can’t even look at you right now that was such a good column
Seems like there is a lot of haterism in your game these days! Don’t get me wrong there is no love lost here for the Lakers and all that they symbolize but for all the reasons to hate LA I think that hot chicks in tight shirts courtside is at the bottom of the list!
Why not focus on how they went down like cheap hookers to the Mavs and then all of a sudden with a minute left in a blow out game cheap shot players only to try and kill their next round! Of all the reasons to hate the Lakers their lack of ability to win with respect and especially to lose with respect is by far at the top of my list right now.
In only have an interest in the Lakers for two reasons right now…1 who’s hall of fame coach will they try to steal? and 2 Whose all star big man will they try to steal? Their coach will not show up next year and their big men did not show up this year!!
In every sense of the word Bynum is the biggest punk in the NBA right now!! My only regret of that series is that Dirk was to much of a wuss himself to go nose to nose with Odom who is not going to do anything more than bump someone on a run by. Dirk could have really solidified his team and sent a message to the league by bellying back up to Odom instead of flopping around half court like a 7′ ragdoll!
Sadly for you I think that is why OKC is going to send your Mavs home disappointed again this year! Your leader is not a warrior, when the going gets tough he folds like a cheap suit! I will give him this though…he sure can make free throws.