An Epic Night in Oklahoma City

Kevin Durant Wants to Cry

Sad KD

So I just saw a graphic on ESPN2 saying that in the last 15 years, there have been 67 instances of a team leading by 15 or more with less than 5 minutes to go in the NBA Playoffs. In those 67 instances, only once has a team come back and won the game. We all just witnessed it, this lone outlier of a game. The Mavs hung around all night and were in striking distance distance until the 4:48 mark when Kevin Durant hit a three to put the lead up to 15  at which point my buddy Jacob (a die hard Spurs fan, no less) and I looked at each other and said; “well that’s ball game”. We were both sitting on my living room sofa where we both had watched the entire game up until this point.

It was then that Jacob asked me; “When you’re team is getting slaughtered, do you like to change the channel to just some random show out of disgust?”

“No (irritated)…I like to let the Mavs toy with my emotions…I’m sick like that”, I respond.

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Why I Hate The Lakers

Beat LA! Beat LA! Beat LA!

Jerry Buss with the Jerry Buss Girls

Nothing says class like 'dating' a Doctor!

This chant has probably been heard in every NBA city when the Lakers are visiting. The question it begs however is why are the LA Lakers the only team with their own chant? The simple answer is that everyone hates the Lakers because they’ve won 16 titles. The complex answer is that there’s a large faction of sports fans that don’t really hate the Lakers as much as they do Lakers ‘fans’ and that makes it so satisfying to rub their noses in it just a little more than you would your random NBA fan. I’m included in this faction of the basketball world.

Allow me to clarify this; first off, I don’t hate Magic Johnson, Kareem, Worthy, Michael cooper, Shaq, Kobe, fisher, Big Shot Rob, Phil Jackson, Jerry Buss or even the Laker girls. I hate Laker “fans”. I’m not talking about the guy in Compton. I’m not even talking about that surfer guy in Malibu or that hard core fan in Long beach. This applies to everyone outside of Orange County.

You see, since my Mavericks eliminated the Lakers this week, I’m in a generous mood. This applies to every “fan” outside of Southern California. I’m talking about you court-side Mr. Courtside Celebrity.

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10

05 2011

Lebron Is A Punk


Lebron Miami Jersey

Lebron James

So the dust has settled and Lebron James, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade are ‘taking their talents’ to (or in Wade’s case, remaining in) South Beach and the Miami Heat. Talking heads everywhere are sounding off on Lebron. Cleveland is beyond crushed. I’ve never been there before but I imagine the entire Northeast Ohio area now looking like nothing short of a Mad Max like post-apocalyptic wasteland.  This NBA season will feature the first time in my short lifetime that I’ve felt an American athlete might have to fear fans for his life when Lebron heads to Cleveland wearing his shiny new #6 Heat uniform. It’s comparable to the way South Americans feel about their soccer heroes after a failure of epic proportions. So as I was glued to the TV for the last week or so, gobbling every Ric Bucher, Chris Broussard and Mark Stein ‘report’ for nuggets of information that would dictate the NBA balances of power for at least the next 5 years (and probably longer), the following conversation takes place in my house:

My Wife: Why’s everyone so mad at Lebron James for going to Miami??
Me: Well it’s not only that he went to Miami, it’s how he did it.
Wife: What do you mean? Did he lie about where he was going to go?
Me: uhm…no, not reall-
Wife: Did he break a contract?
Me: no….it’s just tha-
Wife: Where would you rather go Miami or Cleveland??
Me [irritated, eyes closed, shaking head]: You don’t get it. How can I explain….

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10 things I learned about the 2010 playoffs!

Photobucket

1. Kobe Bryant is still the best player in the NBA- The NBA season is 82 games….. And then some. Kobe knows this, a certain other All-star and free agent is still figuring it out. Lebron has won consecutive MVP awards the last two years….so has Kobe, the difference is Kobe has done it in the Finals and taken home 2 rings. Kobe and Lebron both faced the Celtic’s and both faced 3-2 deficits. Kobe again showed that he is the true king of the NBA by leading his team to victory in game 6 and hitting big shots in the 4th of game 7. Regardless of where James ends up once free agency starts in July, when October rolls around and the season tips off, he’ll still be the 2nd best player.

2. Jerry Buss better pay Phil whatever he wants- Jerry Buss has hinted throughout the season that he wants Phil Jackson back with the Lakers next season….at a reduced price. Jerry Buss is about to foul up the same way Jerry Jones did with Jimmy Johnson. The Jerry’s want to have there cake and eat it too. They want their Championships but they want them on their terms. Now this isn’t too say that Dr.Buss is an owner that tries to control every aspect of the team like Mr. Jones does but the similarities are there. The Cowboys had just come off back to back titles, just like the Lakers, before Jimmy Johnson the Cowboys were an average team at best, before The Lakers hired Jackson they were underachievers. Bottom line Jerry, don’t ruin a good thing and don’t fix what isn’t broken, to take a line from John Malcovich in “Rounder’s”…”Pay that man his money”.

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19

06 2010

The Time Is Now Kobe

Kobe Bryant Michael Jordan

One of my biggest regrets as a basketball fan is how I treated Michael Jordan in his prime. You see, I’ve always been a die hard hoops fan for as long as I can remember but despite how cool Jordan was and how much I loved his shoes, I remained (and still remain) a homer. The Rockets were my team and Akeem/Hakeem (there never was or will there ever be a better highlight reel for a center) was the man. I loved the Rockets, loved Rudy T, loved Robert Horry (before he was big shot Rob) and even loved Sam Cassell (this love ended in the latter part of his career). One of the best kept secrets of the 90′s was that the Rockets played the Jordan led Bulls better than any other team in the NBA.  So because of my allegiance to the Houston Rockets, I always found myself rooting for a Bulls/Rockets Finals which, as you know, never came to be (thanks to a prison rape foul on Clyde Drexler by Karl Malone that allowed John Stockton to hit this shot). So in my mind, The Rockets were forever under appreciated, never given their due and The Bulls just happened to become the target of all my basketball hatred. I was a hater, I hated Jordan, I hated the refs kissing his butt, I hated Charles Barkley kissing his butt and laughing with him in the 93 Finals. But then a funny thing happened; Jordan retired after the 98′ Finals and there was this vacuum, this void left in his wake. Suddenly I couldn’t change the channel when ESPN classic showed a Jordan game. Suddenly, Iverson’s crossover wasn’t popping off quite the way it was when he did Jordan. Then came these rumors that MJ might come back with the Wizards and I was re-invigorated. Was this my chance to enjoy Jordan, a chance to finally see him in person? Well the answer is sort of, and yes, respectively. Jordan came back and had a pretty much uneventful run with the Wizards as a shadow of his former self. Besides a monster block on Ron Mercer and a quasi playoff run, Jordan clearly was no longer Air Jordan. I even got to see him play for the first time of my life against the Dallas Mavericks in an overtime game that Jordan, ironically enough, missed the game winner of at the end of regulation. He just wasn’t the same.  Till this day I always wish I could go back and just enjoy rooting for Jordan and not rooting for the Stockton/Malones & Payton/Kemps of the world.

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And So It Begins


Kobe Bryant is High Fashion

Dear Kobe,

Really? When you put this on and looked in the mirror, what was going through your head? Better yet, who made you do this? You know what, forget I asked. Here’s some advice though; in the future if anyone asks why you did this just say you lost a bet with Sasha Vujacic. It’s really the only acceptable answer to that question. It HAS to be Sasha too…nobody will believe you if you say anyone else here (ok, maybe Pau but let’s stick with Sasha, it’s safer).

P.S. A good rule of thumb going forward: ask yourself, would my puppet be allowed to wear this?

Sincerely,

Concerned Hoops Fan

04

05 2010

Notes and Observances About the NBA Playoffs Thus Far

These are some casual observations I’ve made as I’ve been watching the NBA playoffs this post season

1. Kobe and the Lakers aren’t right
Anyone watching the Lakers this post season can tell you that these Lakers aren’t right. The thing you keep hearing about from all these talking heads is that these Lakers are ‘old’. What?? isn’t this the same team that this summer had everyone saying they’ll contend for the next 5 years because they locked up Gasol, Bynum, Artest and Kobe long term? And now, not even a year into this they’re too old? Doesn’t add up for me. These guys have one problem in my opinion, and it’s a lack of chemistry. When you see this team play, one thing is crystal clear; they don’t like each other. Everyone on this team seems scared of Kobe (except maybe Artest) and it also seems that Kobe’s ultimate agenda is to add to his legacy. There’s no doubt in my mind Kobe would be furious if the Lakers won the title but Bynum or Gasol was named the Finals MVP. I’d challenge you die hard Laker’s fans to present an argument otherwise. This in my opinion is the problem for the Lakers. It’s what prevents the role players from diving for loose balls and taking charges – things that are critical to a team facing an ultra scrappy, super athletic team like the Thunder (speaking of super athletic, did you see this dunk on Lamar Odom?). Maybe the Lakers are just too cool, too Hollywood to be concerned about the NBA and all it’s trappings.

On another note, if the Thunder somehow pull off this upset, is this the greatest 1st round upset of all time? My list of 1st round upsets goes like this right now 1)2007 Mavericks beat by the Warriors 2)1994 Sonics beat by Denver (the ‘Mutombo Crying on the floor‘ series) 3)1999 Heat beat by the Knicks (Allen Houston Runner). Where would the Lakers getting beat by the Thunder rank in there? Well it depends. If Kevin Durant goes on to win multiple titles and MVPs for years to come, this upset will be seen more as Kevin Durant’s coming out party than an ‘upset’. A key ingredient in an upset being remembered as an upset is when the team doing the upset had no business winning. If Durant is destined for NBA greatness, then his greatness will tarnish the upset shine of the series. I don’t think Kobe will let that happen though. I’m 100% certain that for the Thunder to win they’ll have to beat Kobe in ‘NBA 2K9′ mode in a Game 7 in LA for that to happen and if you haven’t played NBA 2K9, I’ll just tell you it’s the most infuriating, unfair and entertaining experience to play against the Lakers when Kobe’s in this mode. Factor in the my Puppets Theory, and there’s no way the Lakers lose this series. Ok, there’s a way, but it’s highly unlikely. Ok, it’s just unlikely.

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Story lines to watch as the Playoffs Loom:

Everyone seem to be real fired up about the playoff this year and with good reason. This year there are a ton of story lines out there. In order from least to greatest here are the five storylines that I find most intriguing heading into the NBA’s annual tournament.

5. The Wild West – I’m not a NBA stat nerd. I don’t necessarily dislike NBA stat nerds like John Hollinger or Henry Abbott but I think at the end of the day, you either know basketball or you don’t. I didn’t need a +/- sheet in front of me ten years ago to know that Allen Iverson’s 32 points were less valuable than Kobe’s 23 points. Put me in a basketball gym full of NBA players and let me and John Hollinger pick teams and my money’s on my team winning more than John Hollinger’s. Of course any Joe Shmoe can say this (this would be a great reality show right?) but this is my blog and damnit, I believe it. So as I digress, let me get to my point; I think this is the most stacked lineup in either conference in NBA history but I refuse to look up the stats to prove it. Hey, I’m not an NBA stat geek. I just know the game. I’m a throwback of sorts when it comes to blogging and this year’s western conference is a throwback to the days when there were only 11 teams in the entire league and you played everyone six times. Out of the 8 western conference teams, the only team that could lose in the first round and be called a legitimate upset is the Lakers. Seriously, I have a buddy who claims in his heart of hearts that he thinks the no.7 Spurs are a legit favorite to win over my beloved no.2 seed Mavericks. And you know what? Personal biases aside, he’s got a legit argument. When have you ever been able to say that about a 2-7 seed matchup?

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The Top 10 NBA Players You Wouldn’t Want To Fight

The NBA has a ton of nice guys. Commercial guys. The sort of guys that when they do those NBA Cares Commercials, they look like they’re really into it. Those guys have ‘gone global’ and are now, literally, international brands. They have handlers that manage every aspect of their lives off the court; clothes, business affairs, travel arrangements, even women (take notes Tiger). They have to distance themselves from the normal things that you and I deal with because they are literally ‘above it’. They have bigger things to worry about, like how their going to sell 100k pairs of shoes in China. On the other hand however, there’s still some hooligans and knuckleheads in the league. Guys who, if you caught them at the wrong time, would have no qualms throwing down with Mr. Joe Average Fan. These guys aren’t global brands and they definitely aren’t worried about losing any endorsement deals. Hell, with the image these guys project, a fight with a fan would only reinforce them as sponsors to any company that was even considering them in the first place. So here are my Top 10 NBA Players you wouldn’t want to fight. The rules are simple; anyone who might seem like a good candidate here but has too much to lose (Yes, that means Lebron is excluded) is omitted here. Anyone lacking the temperament to really knock out Mr. Average Joe Fan (Yes, this means Dwight Howard is excluded). So without further ado here are last 10 guys you would want to run into in a dark alley.

Stephen Jackson

10. Stephen Jackson – This guy is one of my favorite players in the league right now and coined the quote of year when he boasted that he “makes love to pressure”. Besides the fact that he might just shoot you, Jax definitely doesn’t have issues swinging on a fan. And as he showed in Indianapolis, if you’re a fan, you don’t want to fight Stephen Jackson. On the other hand, if you’re an NBA star that’s gonna fight a fan, you might want him as a teammate.  Now the one weakness he may have in a bar fight is that he apparently only throws hay-makers, so maybe if you work the jab, you’ll have chance.

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11

03 2010

What could have been.

What could have been!

Lebron James, Tim Duncan, Dwight Howard, all number 1 picks, all franchise players. What would the Cleveland Cavilers look like today if they had picked Darko number 1 instead of Lebron? Would the San Antonio Spurs have any championships if they took Keith Van Horn over Tim Duncan. Well lucky for those two franchises, they don’t have to worry about it. Unfortunately the same can not be said about the Portland Trailblazers.

As the ping pong balls rattle around and team’s destinies are set in motion, the Portland Trailblazers were handed a gift in 2007, the number 1 draft pick. All is right and good in the state of Oregon , after all they have a great history of drafting the right player at the right time……right. Oh wait that’s right there the one’s that passed on Michael Air Jordan for Sam Bowie. That mistake is still in the head of every Portland fan that has stuck it out for the last 26 years. Now there have been some bright spots in the Portland Franchise, Clyde Drexler, Brandon Roy, and one trip to the finals in 1992,  their opponent in those finals, none other than Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls who went one to beat the Blazers 4-2. Yes once again Portland and it’s fans were reminded of what could have been and reluctantly what reality is.

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07

03 2010